My name is Salvatore.

Jessica has made the foolish decision to let me write our story. This all began just AFTER Valentine's Day, 2023. My timing couldn't have been better...

Jessica and I met on a despicable dating app. Our first date was to Panera Bread. She ordered a salad. I ordered a bagel. For some reason this was an incorrect choice on my part, although she's never explained why. From the first moment I saw her, I thought she was absolutely stunning. While eating my bagel, I remember thinking to myself, "I FINALLY found her!" She thought I was extremely handsome as well.

Our second date was to TC Hooligans. I sent her home with the leftovers, to give to her father. I did this for our first several dinner dates, giving her the leftovers to bring home to Joe. This was my way of getting him to like me, almost like a trained Pavlovian response. "Oh, you're going out with Sal again? *Dinner Bells!!* It worked. Joe loves me.

Our third date was to The Little Theater, where we watched "Everything Everywhere All at Once." I had to make sure she had good taste in movies. We had our first kiss afterwards. She must have really liked the movie.

The first time I said "I love you" was after Bingo Night at Roar. She told me she would get back to me in four to six business days.

I proposed to her in the Fall. For Attempt #1 I asked her at home. She said yes, but told me to ask again when I had the actual ring. For Attempt #2, I took her to Watkins Glen and made her go on a hike through the woods, and climb over two-hundred stairs to find a waterfall. We found one eventually. She said yes again. Women love waterfalls and hiking.

We've only been together for a year and a half, but it feels like a lifetime of adventures. I bought a house. She got a sweet new job. We went to Niagara Falls. I taught her how to play Catan. We watched all three seasons of Daredevil together. She took me to Disney World. I bought her flowers and chicken tenders when she was sick. She introduced me to Tom Sandoval. I got her to try Korean food. We watched the solar eclipse together. I cooked her dinner at least once.

I love Jessica with every atom in my body. There is no one else on Earth I would rather spend the rest of my life with. Not even Peter Grassi. Regardless, I'm going to keep him as well.

That is our story so far. This is only the beginning.

The End.

... Hi. My name is Jessica and I approve this story.